Nothing to say

My wife gets home tonight, and I’m really looking forward to seeing her. In the few hours I have before seeing her, I have some big plans to clean the house. In fact, it’s mid-day, and I’m well on my way through the tasks I’ve laid out for myself.

I wanted to take a moment’s respite, though, to write about some of the learning I’ve done this morning. At the risk of embarrassment, I’ll confess that we haven’t done any serious scrubbing since moving in. The place was clean when we got here, and we didn’t bring any chemical cleaners with us from Miami. Dish soap and laundry detergent are all we’ve purchased since, and they have served us well enough for keeping things clean, but it’s time to attack the bathroom.

But without the chemical cleaning solutions, with what shall I attack it?

Ah, here comes the learning. I googled “natural homemade cleaning products recipes” I definitely wanted natural cleaning products, but I didn’t want hits for the products they’re selling at Whole Foods. I wanted recipes for making the stuff myself, at home. Allow me to critique the first few links that Google returned.

Organized Home

This was a good enough page, but to me doesn’t qualify for a “feeling lucky” hit. I’m admittedly caught up on their poorly chosen stock photos, as there are some good recipes in there. I tried the “Homemade Spray Cleaner Recipe” (equal parts distilled white vinegar and water.) It works amazingly well on glass. I was quite surprised at how well it did on the mirror, and without that godawful ammonia smell. I used it on the sink, too, and it was frustratingly ineffective. I suppose if it was used weekly, it would maintain a lovely sink, but when the sink needs cleaned, this solution requires elbow grease. I think a soda recipe would’ve worked better.

Care2

How To Make a Non-Toxic Cleaning Kit is a good article that includes more base ingredients and details. Bonus points for including Tea Tree as a mold killer, as mold is a serious concern for the more damp parts of our humble nation and the world. They cover the basics at least as well as Organized Home, if not better. There is still room for improvement, however.

The Green Guide

The Green Guide is a National Geographic thing that I’ve never heard of. They just released their first print issue, but apparently have been doing the digital format for a little while now. The archives are available on the site, but only go back as far as issue 20. It’s a shame that the first 19 issues are missing, but it may be some consolation that the current issue is #123, and #20 is dated Feb 7, 1996. Can I get a WTF?!? I think I just found my de facto standard.

DIY Household Cleaners appeared in issue #120, and is one of the two best resources of the lot. The cleaners are broken down by target, but they first give you the list of “The Eight Essentials”. Of these 8, we have all but 1. Washing Soda, which has a pH of 11, is a bit caustic, so take caution. The rest (olive oil, lemon, castille soap, hydrogen peroxide, distilled white vinegar, borax, and baking soda) are all easy to find, abundantly available, and above all, really cheap. You don’t even need the great olive oil. Get whatever cheap one you want. May I recommend Goya, which consistently gets good reviews from Consumer Reports and other sources. Borax is the same borax you’ll find in the laundry detergents at Target, and it’s also an amazing ant-killer when mixed with a little sugar. Castille soap can be pricey, but doesn’t have to. Shop around. Either way, it’s cheaper than the commercial cleaners, and you use very little of it, so it’ll last.

The Green Guide covers everything the first two sites did, but it does it better. I’m bookmarking this site, for sure.

Pioneer Thinking

This one was a surprise for me. Judging the book by its cover, I imagined a recipe for something to clean the butter churn and horse trough. What I got instead was a resource even more complete than The Green Guide’s. Here is where you will find the solution to cleaning pet stains, burned food bits on your cookware, mildew, rust, and even your hair brush. The Green Guide had the best general guide of the batch, but this is an excellent supplement to that. Definitely worth checking out.

Kylie Minogue

I doubt she really cleans house much - she’s got people for that, but she is hot.

Update: I did some looking on TLC’s site. I never realized what we had going on here. You’ve got Discovery, and they’ve got a ton of networks. TLC, Discovery Kids, Military Channel, FitTV, and several other derivatives. So we’ll see what goes on with that.

Wa$ted

TLC (The Learning Channel) has a new agenda called Planet Green. I don’t think they’re actually renaming the station (at this time) or spinning of another channel (yet), but they have been advertising a few new shows that will debut in early June. I am currently watching a sneak-preview of one of those shows, called Wa$ted.

Like with most family-improvement shows, they visit one household per episode, and revamp some aspect of the family’s life. In this case, they are addressing the household consumption of goods, energy, and water, as well as the waste produced.

First, they show up with a big truck and a megaphone, a la Extreme Home Makeover, and shout the family out into the driveway. There, they dump the contents of the truck - 6 months of the family’s trash - on the driveway. This family, for instance, uses a massive amount of polystyrene cups, paper plates, plastic bottles, water, and electricity. What’s worse is that they don’t recycle. The very worst part, though, is that they really don’t care. They repeat the father’s quote of “it is what it is” several times throughout the program. They really are the type of family that I can see throwing their McDonalds trash out 3 miles down the road, and not caring about it unless they’re confronted with an actual fine. That sort of attitude drives me crazy.

The best part of this show is that through financial incentives and shock value, they convince an uncaring family that their ways need to change. The family is given a new washing machine, to replace their pretty new washing machine, and a new solar water heater to replace their already somewhat old machine. They also blew new insulation into the attic, and made a point to mention that it is largely comprised of recycled newspaper. I’m not sure what that says about the fire-resistance of it, but it’s nice that they complemented the existing insulation, instead of throwing it out.

The worst part is removing the perfectly usable washing machine, without any mention of recycling or reusing it. Same with the They pour acid on a stack of styro cups to illustrate what happens when they come in contact with “certain chemicals”. In case you’re curious, the cups turn to goo, and acetone gas (nail polish remover) fumes are emitted. Fun! There just seems to be so much waste involved in reducing waste.

Would that I had the knowledge to explain how this could have been done better. It’s like when biofuels started to gain popularity, and before people realized what an utterly bad idea it was.

At the end of the episode, the family was given a sum of money to match their estimated savings through reduced waste. That amount came to $2,244. The best, though, was seeing that the family was genuine glad to have reduced their carbon footprint. They realized that it matters, and they did something about it.

Greenovate

The second show in the preview is Greenovate. The 2-person family works in some ambiguous green tech (read: I wasn’t paying that much attention), and lives in a 1,400 sqft condo in Santa Monica, CA. They work green and talk green, and are ready to put their money where their mouths are. They set a budget of $10,000 for their renovations, and appear to be paying for it themselves. While the family in Wa$ted got a free washing machine, solar water heater, insulation, and cash, I’m not sure what handouts this couple is receiving. I believe the show provided the services of a designer to help them with the details of their renovation, but that’s it.

I’m already more excited about this program. This time, I’ll break it down by room.

Kitchen

Their designer suggested keeping their existing cabinets, and simply replacing the doors. The couple chose to use reclaimed teak. They replaced the refrigerator and dishwasher, but both were around 10 years old. Even better: they donated their old, perfectly functional appliances to Habitat for Humanity. That is awesome. Finally, they replaced their laminate countertop with some recycled compound that had ice in the name. Ice stone or something. The last and best change in the kitchen was not a replacement, but an addition. They put in a worm bin! It is basically a high-speed compost bin, where the worms produce a fertilizer juice that can be poured from the bin and used in the plants. I want one.

Bedroom

Overall, they were happy with the bedroom, but wanted more light. The designer suggested replacing their recessed canister lights with something more effective and efficient. She also suggested a new bed, made from recycled, reclaimed, and organic bits. The lattice, for instance, was recycled broom sticks, snapped into recycled plastic clips.

Bathroom

This was the budget-breaker. Instead of simply replacing the bath fixtures, it was necessary to remove the tiles, and bust up the walls to get to the plumbing. It doubled their budget, but afforded them the opportunity to tile their shower walls with recycled glass (eco!) and their bathroom floor with beach stones imported from Indonesia (anti-eco!) (but really pretty!) Finally, there were those gorgeous faucets they installed. In the shower, not only did they update the plumbing to conserve water, but they added a thermostatic water thinger that allows them to preset the water temperature without having to waste water while it warms up. Nice.

All-Around

Their biggest change, but certainly not the most expensive, was a high-efficiency HVAC unit installed on the roof. In the process of showing off the old one to the designer, they got her to climb a ladder to the roof in a skirt. Nice choice, but optimal camera placement was not achieved. So it goes.

What? I’m a guy!

Anyway, in summary, it wasn’t a bad hour of television. I’m looking forward to seeing how this develops. And after seeing their promotional spots once the shows were over, I really get the impression that they’re revamping the entire network. They specifically bill it as the first green network, and give the impression that they’re meaning that they will be exclusively green. This could get interesting.